Joyce’s marriage to Gerry and her memories of him

Joyce’s marriage to Gerry endures in her memories as both a source of warmth and a grief she carefully contains. She remembers him as a clever, joking man who needed a home, and herself as someone who gave him one; after his death, she keeps that shared life close, even as she wonders what he would have made of Coopers Chase.

Marriage and the Meadowcroft Name

Joyce says that Meadowcroft is the surname she took from her late husband and that she has always liked it. She recalls having many reasons to marry Gerry, with his surname one more to add to the list. Her wry comparison with a friend from nursing who married a man named Bumstead makes the point lightly: a name could have been enough to give her an excuse to call off a marriage, but Gerry’s name only strengthened her reasons to marry him.

Gerry as a Stray

Joyce describes herself as drawn to strays and Gerry as one from the moment they met. He was always joking and clever, but also someone who needed a home. Joyce sees their marriage as an exchange of care: she gave Gerry a home, and he gave her much more in return. The description conveys affection without detailing how they met or the practical circumstances of their life together.

Grief Kept Close

Joyce admits that she does not often talk about Gerry. She keeps him in what she calls a tight little ball, meant just for her, because letting the memories loose seems as though it might overwhelm her; she even worries that he might blow away. She recognizes that fear as silly, but the image reveals how private remembrance serves as a way of holding on.

While writing about Gerry, Joyce feels tears prickling and initially tells herself that this is not the time or place. She then lets herself cry, reasoning that without occasional tears she might end up crying all the time. Her grief is neither absent nor openly shared with everyone: it surfaces in the diary as she tries to give it room without letting it take over.

The Life He Missed

Joyce imagines that Gerry would have enjoyed Coopers Chase, especially its committees. Thinking of the place in terms of what he would have liked turns an ordinary feature of her present life into a measure of his absence. She finds it unfair that he missed out, joining fondness for their shared past to the continuing wish that he could have been part of her life there.